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Why iPhone early adopters don’t deserve Steve Jobs

iPhone suckers cry poor
Steve Jobs is apologizing to consumers for slashing iPhone prices. Well, not really. He’s apologizing to those people who bought an iPhone before the discount and issuing them US$100 gift certificates to Apple stores. Excuse me while I go puke in the corner. If I was Steve Jobs, I’d be thanking these people for their cash. They must have known that the iPod would experience a price shift – maybe not as soon as a few months after it was first issued, but we all knew it was coming.

These same people that are complaining were willing to pay any amount to own the latest gadget from Cupertino, if only to wave it under the noses of their jealous friends. They might also be the suckers that forked over two or three times the list price to buy one of eBay. In case you haven’t noticed, I have no sympathy for these people. You think it’s expensive? Don’t buy it. You think it might eventually come down in price? Learn to have a little patience. Now people who are still buying Palm products . . . those people I feel sorry for.

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Lose face book
I have nothing against social networking sites. To mangle a metaphor, let me just get that off my chest right off the bat. (Wow, this is turning into a cranky couple of Insider entries.) But to suggest people’s privacy is at risk when Facebook opens its doors to Google is freakin’ nuts. First of all, people are already listed on Google whether they like it or not. If your name is associated with anything that’s ever been online, you’re accessible through Google. The fact that Facebook is making its profiles searchable through Google (and other search engines) isn’t going to change one darn thing. People are calling this another step on a slippery slope towards full-on Big Brotherdom, but Insider says we’re already there. The slope isn’t just slippery, it’s coated with Vaseline. Facebook ain’t gonna make one iota of difference. You don’t like it? Cancel your Facebook account. I’m assuming people don’t start up Facebook pages because they’re introverted. If Google can see your account, think how many more people will be able to read about how you named your cats after Carebears. (Actually, Insider named his cats after X-Men.)

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Dinosaurs go splat
Now for something a little lighter. Dinosaurs were doomed by a game of galactic pool. One hunk of space rock hit another a bazillion miles away from Earth (if we’re being scientific here), causing chunks to careen into the planet, wiping out every lizardy thing that walked, flew and swam. Could it happen again? Nahhh. Well, maybe not. I dunno. Anyway, at least you’ve got an interesting tidbit to write about on your Facebook wall.

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